Everyone has a laundry list of qualities they want in the opposite sex. If you break those lists down, almost everything fits into three categories: personality, appearance, and sexuality. Personality is connection and rapport. Can you spend time with her outside the bedroom? Do you not wish she would stop talking? Sexuality is chemistry, both inside the bedroom and out. Can I not keep my hands off her? Can she take what I have to give her? Does she seem conscious when I am giving it to her?

Two of these categories need to be satisfied to casually date someone. Usually it’s appearance and something else, because these days we are meeting people in bars and clubs instead of being set up on blind dates by our parents. If brighter lighting or sober eyes take away the appearance, the something else won’t be good enough to continue seeing the person ever again. Relationships where two categories are met usually last a few dates until things stall out.

If the third category is satisfied, she is officially compatible with you. The usual result is you will still be in touch with her one year down the road, whether you are dating or not. A common reason a relationship wouldn’t work in this case is bad timing. You need to prioritize your desired qualities. This is my ranking: 1. Appearance 2. Personality 3. Sexuality.

Sexuality is third because most of the time I’m spending with a girl will be talking to her and not banging. What I see with girls is they write off men who don’t possess all of the qualities they want, and keep in mind their lists are twenty times as long as a guy’s. Instead of having a prioritized list, everything for them is weighted equally, which produces the spinster phenomenon we are all too familiar with. As long as a girl is very strong in your two most important categories